Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Finally Accepting My Hair Just The Way That It Is & Loving It

I have been natural for about 5 years. It wasn't until little over a year ago that I accepted and fell in love with my hair the way that it is. The first four years of being natural, I kept a wig or weave in my head. I had stopped getting relaxers because my hair never really took to them so there was no sense in me continuing to waste the money. It would grow out some and then break off. There was no way that I was going to ever go out my house with my natural 4C hair the way that it was. It didn't curl. It didn't wave. It didn't move in the wind. It wasn't soft and silky. It wasn't any of the things that society has basically told me (and everyone else) my hair should be. Even today, commercial that have Black women in them with natural hair have the gorgeous tight curls and coils. Their hair is manageable. Mine was not. I was ashamed of my hair.

Around the time that I went natural and was wearing wigs on a regular basis, I met a guy.We dated for a few months. One day when we were hanging out, he asked "Is that your real hair?" Of course, I told him the truth. He wanted me to take my wig off. I refused. He asked several more time. I said "no". He looked me in my eyes and told me to take off my wig. My heart dropped. In my mind, I saw him finding a reason for our date to end and him taking me home immediately and never hearing from him again. On the verge of tears, I take several deep breaths and I took of my wig. I wouldn't look him in the eye. I was scared, uncomfortable, and ashamed. He kissed my forehead and told me that I was beautiful. Much to my surprise, he thought that I was prettier with MY hair just the way that it was. So whenever it was just me and him away from the public, he would tell me to take my wig off and I would. Him doing that helped me get to the point of finally loving my hair, even though that came years later.

Let's fast forward to April 2011. I had been wearing wigs and sew-ins for years. I was tired of spending money on that. I was tired of running to go put on a wig every time my doorbell rang. I was fed up. I went to go see my aunt who is a licensed cosmetologist. I wanted her to put a texturizer in my hair. So I made the major step being ready to let go of the wigs and weaves but I still wasn't ready to wear my hair the way it was. I wanted those cute curls and waves. Now up until this point, my mother had been telling me to wear my own hair. To me, that was very easy for her to say, since her hair was naturally curly and she could pull it up into a nice ponytail. I don't remember the last time that I had a ponytail in my head. But back to seeing my aunt. She put a texturizer in my hair and guess what???? No pretty curls. No pretty waves. Just my hair a little softer and easier to comb through. I was so upset and my aunt knew that. She encouraged me not to give up on my hair.

We tried the texturizer again a month later and the same results. My aunt and I came to the conclusion that it just wasn't going to take. As my aunt put it, "My hair was fighting me like that Tums commercial where the chicken wing was fighting that lady".  Lol. Gotta love my aunt!

I took in what she said and decided that this was no longer going to be a fight because my hair was going to either win the fight by not doing what I am trying to force it to do or just fall out. So I stopped trying to force it. As time when on I started to LIKE my hair but I still wasn't in LOVE with it. It wasn't until January of this year when I discovered Shea Moisture products one day in Walgreens when I started to love my hair. I purchased all of what I could of the Organic Coconut and Hibiscus line and was sold. Using those products made my hair soft and manageable. My scalp felt healthy. My hair was happy and so was I!

My hair still doesn't curl or wave and it never will. My hair regimen has some since then (posts about hair care will come later) but it is healthy. I get a sew-in no more than twice per year as a protective style. I have cut my hair down twice since I started wearing my hair due to uneven growth but I have decided that other than trimming my ends, I am going to let my hair do its own thing. My hair is one of the biggest inspirations behind my creations for Deon and Dion Fashions.


Until next time loves!